


Afraid of Losing You

by RubiRose15



Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, Feels, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Murder, Nightmares, She/Her Pronouns For Alex Fierro, Suicide, fierrochase
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 10:39:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14788964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubiRose15/pseuds/RubiRose15
Summary: Alex confides a horrifying nightmare to Magnus.





	Afraid of Losing You

**Author's Note:**

> ugh my phone won't let me tag.  
> It was like 4am and I was in that weird phase where I suddenly become an okay writer. I thought of this and was like: I'll write it in the morning!..... Shit no I won't.  
> So i wrote it in like an hour!  
> Haha.... I'm going to school in two hours help
> 
> I'm just gonna publish it before I regret writing it :)
> 
> If you are triggered by suicide, uhhhhhhh you may not want to read this because it happens twice. If I told you to skip you'd read like 5 paragraphs.
> 
> Now, if you're okay with implied suicide but graphic/blunt suicide isn't your cup of tea, skip at "So much for your happily ever after!" And return at "Then she woke up in a cold sweat."
> 
>  
> 
> Also, sorry everything is so spaced out. Ao3 does that for some reason.

Magnus was never one for close contact, but Alex Fierro was an exception. He always wanted to be as close to the child of Loki as possible. Speaking of which, the two were cuddled up on the grassy floor of Magnus’ room, underneath the skylight in the tree.

For some reason, even though their rooms were the exact same, Alex always made the excuse that Magnus’ room was more comfortable. The blonde decided not to question it and just accepted the normalized late night visits.

Now the two were falling asleep in the moonlight, with Alex, who was currently female, laying on top of Magnus, quietly listening to his heartbeat. While the son of Frey didn't know it, Alex was listening out of fear that the steady beating would suddenly stop. She sighed deeply and tried to forget about her fears. The two were going to a pride rally the next day, she needed energy.

“You okay?” Magnus asked drowsily, sensing something wrong. Alex made a small sound to tell him she was fine. She wasn't, really.

Thankfully, her dorky boyfriend also happened to be empathetic, and could sometimes sense people’s emotions through touch. Alex suddenly regretted laying so close, as she hated people knowing how she felt. She wasn't always as in control as she pretended to be.

Magnus shifted so the two lay side by side rather than Alex on top. They remained so close that their breath tickled each other’s cheeks. Again, he asked if she was okay.

“Are you sure you're fine? You seem off…”

“I’m okay, really,” Alex assured him. “Just… Thinking about things,”

“What things?”

The green haired girl sighed. She supposed she should explain herself eventually. It was probably better to tell Magnus her past rather than him asking at the wrong time. She prepared herself for heartache and started speaking.

“I just had a little nightmare, I guess,” she began. “About an old friend of mine. Adrian.”

Magnus remembered the name. Alex had mentioned it aboard Naglfar, when voices were trying to drag them into Helheim. He was both jealous and curious as to who they were. All he knew was that they committed suicide and that they must've been very close to Alex.

“Go on…” the boy gently encouraged her to continue.

“I was running through the forest, as you do, and they were there. They looked so sick… Nothing like they did when they were alive,” she willed herself to keep talking, despite the tears already threatening to pour. “They smiled at me and we talked for a bit. Well, they talked. I may have cried…”

“What did you talk about?” Magnus asked. Alex felt a tiny bit annoyed that he kept asking questions, but she knew if he didn't, she may not finish her story. She also knew the sunshiney boy only had good intentions, which washed away her annoyance with affection.

“Just normal stuff I guess. It was almost like he was actually there, visiting me in my dreams…” Alex wondered if she should mention that they also talked about Magnus. Adrian had told her that they thought the son of Frey was good for her, and basically gave them his blessing. It had made any shield she may have had up to stop herself from crying fall down immediately. She began bawling right there in her dream.

“Was that all?” the boy in question inquired. He started to rub a small part of her back in an attempt to be soothing. Alex would never admit that it always made her feel better.

“Well…” she thought to when the dream shifted from emotional to heartbreaking. “We were in a tree, and Adrian smiled at me one last time before--”

She couldn't finish her sentence. She wasn't strong enough to. She really hoped Magnus got the point.

 

‘ _He jumped out of the tree into darkness_ ,’

 

“You don't have to say anything else,” the blonde assured her, holding her tight. Alex tried not to cry. Or at least, tried not to cry too loudly. That wasn't even the worst part of the dream.

“A-and then,” she stammered. “There was you…”

In the dream, Alex had tried to jump after Adrian, tried to save her friend. But then she landed next to her boyfriend. He looked as sickly as Adrien did. The sight made Alex’s heart flip in panic. She reached out to him as he turned to look at her, and she felt nauseous at the sight of his sunken, pale face. Her love still shone through, and she ran to him, holding him as he wasted away in her arms.

The dream shifted again. Alex was on the ground, and somehow, couldn't get up. Her leg was cut open and she couldn't move. She looked up to see Magnus fighting off giants in front of her. He didn't have enough time to heal her injury. Jack wasn't his weapon, which set off alarms in Alex’s head. She watched helplessly as the giants weakened him. Then, Loki came up to the front of the fight just when Magnus looked like he couldn't take another hit.

Her mother said some words she couldn't hear, gave the two of them a sly grin, and stabbed Magnus in the chest, fatally wounding him. He fell back into her arms again. Alex started screaming, but she had as much of a chance of hearing herself as Hearth could.

Magnus stared up at her with eyes full of love and adoration. He talked to her, visibly struggling to get the words out, before five words rang clearly.

“I love you, Alex Fierro,” he whispered before his eyes closed forever. Alex screamed again, begging the universe to bring him back. Loki had left, but she could still sense her mother laughing at her.

“So much for your happily ever after!” she figured she'd say.

Through her tears, Alex desperately looked around for something to numb her pain. Her hands landed on the hilt of Magnus’ sword, and she had a horrible idea.

Alex turned the point of the sword toward herself, and took a shaky breath. Strangely, it was the calmest she felt throughout the whole dream. She held Magnus’ hand one last time, and whispered something before plunging the sword into her gut.

“I love you too, Magnus Chase,”

Then she woke up in a cold sweat with hot tears running down her cheeks. She had run to Magnus’ room immediately, needing to know he was safe. The boy was alive, and was as adorable and dorky as she remembered. Super sleepy and confused as well, considering that he wasn't expecting her to show up in the middle of the night. She tackled him in a hug and demanded to spend the night. Magnus didn't argue, he just stepped aside and let her in. They stayed with each other for the next few days.

Alex remembered wondering if her dream was a vision of their destined deaths at Ragnarok, but she shook the thought aside.

She gave Magnus a shorter description of the last part of her dream.

“You were sick, a-and then we were fighting. You died in my arms. I-I was so heartbroken--” Yeah, she left out _a lot_ of details.

Magnus was quiet for a moment, which didn't help Alex’s state of mind. Suddenly he held her even tighter than before and ran his hands through her hair. He was trying to do anything he could to make her feel better without using his healing magic. Alex Fierro felt her emotional walls shatter and she let herself cry into Magnus’ shoulder.

“I'm sorry,” he apologized.

“It's not your fault…” she murmured.

“I know, I just-- I don't know what else to say…”

The statement had the audacity to make Alex Fierro laugh. Or at least, breath out a little harder in a positive way. She held onto Magnus, and let his presence calm her. He pressed a kiss on her forehead. Somehow, even if he didn't know what to say, he always knew what to do.

“I-I don't want to lose you!” she cried. Magnus softly moved his hand up and down her back and massaged her scalp.

“You won't. I’m right here.” he said. Alex tried so much to focus on that. Magnus was right there. He was alive. He wouldn't die. At least, not yet. She felt her breathing getting steadier as she came back to reality. She still clung to Magnus like a lifeline, because right now, he was one.

The two stayed tightly together the whole night, until they both fell asleep under the stars. This time, Alex dreamed of happiness, pushing her fears away. She needed to enjoy the present. It's how she stayed sane for so long. She knew she had to love and cherish her current life as much as she could before it all burned away.

And hey, the present wasn't so bad.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading this 4am fic! Hope you somewhat enjoyed. Leave a comment if you'd like?


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